Hands Off The Merchandise!
by DashingJetBlack
Summary: Another one-shot from the All Rhodes universe! Evan is NOT happy after seeing his boyfriend all over a certain cougar on Raw this week...and he needs to be reminded of what's his! Evan/Swagger slash SMUT!


**Hands Off The Merchandise, Bitch!**

_I'm on fire this week...the Most Must-See Sequel's ink is barely dry and already I come bearing another one-shot._

_Despite the shameless nicking of HBK's line...this isn't about him!_

_Set in the __**All Rhodes**__... universe and for the first time...Jakey and Evan are the stars. A little muse exploded in my head after this week's Raw!_

_**Pairings: **__Evan/Swagger plus a bit of Miz/Riley (because you can never have too much Mizley!)_

_**Warning -**__ SMUT! Plus slight Vickie bashing! _

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><p><strong>**15 August 2011, San Diego, CA, Raw**<strong>

Little Evan Bourne couldn't help it. He was watching the segment in his locker room with his jaw set and huffing loudly. How dare she make eyes at his man? Who the fuck did that skank think she was?

And Jake was batting his eyelashes at her for all it was worth as well! Yeah Vickie looked great these days and really dressed to impress...but Evan still couldn't help but feel jealous.

"Evvy, what's up?" asked The Miz, who was padding about the dressing room, awaiting his man's return, fresh from his defeat at the hands of Evan's beau (and Vickie distracting the ref.)

"She's fucking...bitch, he's MINE!" spat Evan.

"Evvy, it's a segment, not real!" chuckled Mike, "I could be kicking your ass now for letting your man beat the crap out of Lexie!"

The high-flier got to his feet and stormed out, almost colliding with a sweaty Alex Riley as he passed.

"Hey Ev...woah, what crawled up your ass?" Kevin asked as the little brunette stomped by.

Evan merely flipped him off. Kevin shrugged and entered the room.

"Enjoy your oven baked crispy chicken Sub?" he shot Mike his crooked grin, "Did you eat the whole thing?"

"Every bite," smirked Mike, "All twelve inches down my throat whilst you were jobbing to Swagger."

"Size queen!" Kevin grinned, "Always liked extra inches in your maw!"

"Been spending too much time around Cody?" Mike said, padding over and hugging his beau..any excuse.

"So what's eaten Evan?" asked Kevin.

"He's going to scratch out Vickie's eyes for being all over Jake!" chuckled Mike, "He's not happy. At all."

"Why not? He gets to wipe that smirk of Hennig's smug face tonight!" Kevin said.

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><p>The small brunette was stomping around the corridors of the arena, determined to find that loudmouthed hoe Guerrero and remind her where she could stick her cougar claws. Where was Jake?<p>

Evan and Jake had been together about seven weeks now and they were happy together...but Evan still was slightly insecure. He needed Jake to remind him how much he cared about him...a fine hunk of man like Jake Hager could have anyone he wanted. Evan was oblvious to his own appeal and cuteness...and he had more than his fair share of secret male admirers at work thanks to his flexibility. He did miss rooming with the Manchester-born high-flyer with red hair as well...despite Tom showing his true colours by cheating on Cody. There weren't many male high-flyers really in the WWE - himself, Kofi, JoMo and of course the people's favourite Rey, on Raw...oh wait, that is quite a few! But only JoMo and Tom could perform a shooting star press as well as Evan did!

Evan found Vickie's room at last. He rapped hard on the door. The dark-hiared woman opened it almost instantly. She smiled good-naturedly.

"Hi Evan, what can I do for you?"

"Hey Vickie," Evan smiled sweetly at her, the danger ominous but hidden, "Just wanted a minute to talk about something?"

"Sure, come in!"

Evan shot her a charming smile as he closed the door. His normally-gentle brown eyes flashed as he watched her take a seat, that purple dress showing a lot of flesh. She crossed one of her long tanned legs over the other.

"I've noticed that tonight you've noticed Jack, and he wants you to be his business associate along with Ziggler?" he began.

"Well, that's the angle," Vickie replied, a little confused.

"It better be," Evan continued, voice dripping with a subtle fury, "Because if I find you so much as looking at Jake with anything other than professional admiration again, I will maim that cougar face of yours up so badly that even that bleached-blond douchebag won't want you."

Vickie didn't know whether to laugh or be horrified. So, Swagger had his own little bitch?

"I...didn't know, Evan, sorry," she said.

"Whatever," Evan said dismissively, "Jake is mine, bitch, and I'm warning you...hands off what's mine. Next time I won't be so nice."

And on that note, Evan turned on his heel and flounced out the room before a bemused Vickie could reply. That told the annoying cougar!

"Evvy? What you doing? Haven't you got a match with Kofi coming up?"

Evan's brown eyes widened as he spied his boyfriend, still in his black singlet and boots, stood in the corridor, looking sweaty but still delicious.

"Nothing Jakey," the brunette said innocently, "Just setting a certain cougar straight."

"What do you mean?" Jake raised his eyebrows, "What's up?"

Evan shook his head.

"Nothing!"

"You can't lie to me Evvy, what's up, baby?"

Evan mewed gratefully as Jake's big strong arms wrapped around him in a protective hug. He took in the familiar scent that was Jake, combined with spandex and man-sweat. Mmm.

"Why were you all over that old hog?" sniffed Evan, "Am I not good enough for you?"

"Oh baby!" chuckled Jake, "Was someone feeling jealous?"

"Damn right!" Evan said, "What's she got that I haven't?"

"Nothing!" Jake replied, rubbing Evan's shaking back comfortingly, "Baby it's just what was in the script for tonight! I'm not going to leave you for Vickie. And could you let me go...I reek and really need a shower...A-Ry was hard work out there! I was hoping I could see a moonsault from him after what I heard happened last night!"

Evan reluctantly pulled away from his beau and began to make his way to the guerilla position ready for his match with Kofi against the former Nexus boys.

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><p>Evan was on a massive high...he was so pleased with his match...he and Kofi worked great as a tag team, and he wondered if Creative would take note? A high-flying tag team...Hardy Boys for a new age! How awesome would that be?<p>

He let out a squeak of surprise as two muscular arms grabbed him and pulled him into a quiet room backstage.

"What the...?"

"Evvy! it's only me!" Jake.

"What you playing at? Scared me half to death!"

"Dolph's looking for you!" Jake hissed, "Someone's being very possesive aren't they?"

"Well she needs to keep her dirty paws off the merchandise!" pouted Evan.

"That go for me n'all?" Jake said, groping the front of Evan's tights.

The brunette whimpered and thrust his hips forward.

"N-no, Jakey."

"You sure...if you don't want people touchin' the merchandise, don't go around like a little terrier...barkin' at them!" Jake continued to softly stroke Evan, torturing him.

Evan whined with need and began t attack the blonde's full lips with furious, hungry kisses, blindly reaching out and finding those toned oh-so-broad shoulders...he was still wearing the singlet...and still smelled manly and musty..oh yeah. He pulled the singlet straps over Jake's arms.

"Easy, puppy!" Jake said, using his brute strength to stop Evan.

"Jakey!" whined the high-flyer.

Jake began to peel off the black singlet, plus his kneepads...he was now wearing just the tiny thong he wore underneath..Evan was salivating...Jake Hager always knew which of his buttons to press.

"So you wanna take this off or am I just gonna be constricted?" drawled Jake, his Oklahoma tones so brusque and unrefined.

Evan reached forward and hooked his slim thumbs into the thong before pulling it down Jake's long, smooth, slim legs...being as perfectly-proportioned as Jake was should be a crime! Nobody else carried 260 pounds as well as Jake did. The blonde's large boner sprang free...Evan's Air-Bourne tights were virtually ripping as his own boner strained to be released.

Jake pulled him close and began to tantalisingly slowly kiss him, Evan feeling his length rubbing against his thights through the thin material of his tights. His hands reached down and grabbed Jake's solid, pert ass, massaging those globes of flesh...He thrust himself forward, trying to create some frcition...anything to relieve the pressure in his tights right now.

"Jakey...take it off mee!" he whimpered, itching for some contact.

"Sorry Evvy, you said hands off the merchandise!" smirked Jake, "On your knees."

The brunette gladly sank to his knees and greedily took the blonde's length into his mouth. Jake groaned...Evan always gave unspeakably good head! But the blonde didn't want to cum down his throat...he wanted something else. Shame it was too dark to film..he had a myth that needed debunking.

"Got a treat for you Evvy if you let me touch the merchandise.." he drawled, "If you stop snapping at Vickie's heels."

To demonstrate what he had in mind...the blonde bent over, exposing his ass. **Yeah, you heard right**...despite being the bigger man..._Jake_ was the bottom in this relationship.

Evan had seen enough...he was not about to be teased a minute longer...he ripped his tights down to his knees, groaning as the cool air got to his aching dick.

"Did you bring any lube Jakey?" he asked.

Jack smirked as he reached into his boot...and pulled a sachet of lubricant out, passing it to Evan who tore it open with his teeth. He squirted the thick white substance onto himself and slicked up, before passing to Jake.

"You do it," the blonde said, a wicked grin on his face.

Evan coated his slim fingers and began to scissor. Jake was so tight...those long legs had great flexibility...the height difference was NO problem..both were very bendy boys. Jake bent his body forward as far as it would go...and Evan stood right on his tip toes and took aim...he missed. He tried again. Missed.

"C'mon!" he hissed in frustration.

"Easy puppy," Jake soothed, reaching behind him to stroke Evan.

"Ride me, Jakey," Evan said voice lilting seductively, as he lay down on the cold floor, full mast and looking so inviting.

"Will do, sir," Jake smiled, padding over and straddling the little brunette...he sat down and took Evan in one gulp, as it were.

Evan gasped...Jake's ass was SO tight for such a big man. Jake's blue eyes rolled back as he got used to the intrusion..Evan might be a little man in figure but it didn't spread to his cock...good things definitely came in small packages!

Evan pushed up, Jake pushed back, reaching his hands forward and clasping Evan's hands with his own. He began to writhe those surprisingly narrow and cut hips of his.

"Oh yeah...ride it Jakey!" gasped Evan, "Take it all!"

"Oh! Oooh! Ooooh!" groaned the blonde, skin alight with the pleasure, "Harder."

Evan thrust his tiny body upwards...banging Jake's prostate dead on, eliciting a loud mew from the blonde. Jake began to increase his rhythm, fucking himself on his boyfriend, hitting that bundle of nerves inside himself every time.

"Gonna...Jakey I'm SO close!" whined Evan.

"CUM INSIDE ME!" gasped Jake, red and flushed, delirious.

Evan's face contorted adorably as his climax hit...lithe hips banging against Jake's powerful thighs as he drove inside the blonde hard.

Jake unclasped one of Evan's hands and began to jerk himself off, willing the sensation that was bulding deep inside upwards...his skin began to tingle, his cobalt eyes lit with a phosphoresecent flame as the pleasure heightened.

"OH FUUCK!"

He erupted all over himself as he finally climaxed. He leaned down and softly began to kiss his spent boyfriend.

"Love you Evvy," he murmured.

"Love you too Jakey," Evan whimpered back, gladly accepting the kiss.

"No more possesiveness, hey?" Jake said, climbing off the brunette and layinf beside him.

"I worry, Jakey," Evan said, resting his hand on Jake's firm arse cheek, "You're so hot...so many want you."

"They'll be disappointed when they realise I prefer taking it uo the ass!" smirked the blonde.

"Cody and Mike were gossiping about us last night!" Evan said, kissing his boy softly again, "They so think I bottom."

"Well you're little and pretty and adorable, puppy!" snickered Jake.

"This puppy has sharp teeth!" Evan grinned back.

He let out a contented mew as Jake pulled him close, feeling gladly reassured.

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><p><strong>What do you think...was harder to write than I thought! First Swagourne fic..I'm quite happy with it. Possessive!Evan = awwww! And I could not resist of a bit of MizRiley!**

**Always love a review XD xx**

**18/08/11, ****PS: For the record, I actually think Vickie looks fantastic these days, I just can't stand her on-screen character and the way she gets in people's faces. So if you don't like the views of the FICTIONAL characters based on real people in this short story, PM me, don't clog my reviews with your rants. The reviews section is for reviews of the story, not a place to attack me. Thanks.**


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